my baby bloom..

I've been busy that I barely got the chance to even update my blog...
It makes me smile thinking where I was just this time last year..
It was the starting point of another phase of my life.
let me flip thru my 2005 diary...
well.. i wrote it there ..
30-12-2004
pregnancy test - positive
31-12-2004
pregnancy test - negative
start diet (60.5kg) (60kg)

1-1-2005
59kg

2-1-2005
58kg

3-1-2005
pregnancy test - positive
MC
(50.5kg)

4-1-2005
MC
(58kg)

giloss.. i was of a mixed feelin' when i knew that i might be pregnant.
well, i was shocked actually.. and sad obviously. i was bad eyy..
i remember that i went to clinic to get my rubella dose ( i missed it when we shud hv it at school but always keep it in my mind to get it done before getting married) tapi itu la aku.... asyik tangguh je, padan muka. it was only my 3rd week after got married. the Dr did the pregnancy test 1st to confirm that im "empty" then only he can give the injection. to my surprise, it turned out to be positive. but he said that he cannot confirm it since it was at a very early stage.

My goodness. macam nak pengsan aku rasa. i'm worried if anything wud happen to the baby bcoz of non-rubella immu. nother thing, i had started my diet pills.. and after all, mana lagi nak pikir pasal nak bersanding... duhhh!! ape nak jawab nie.

but now, Im regret that i regret for I love Arissa more than words can describe. Can’t imagine a day without having her in my arms, kissing and caressing her would be the best thing to do. As far as I remember I never get tired or sick or mad when she cries for her milk at odd hours.. kekadang tu every every half an hour dia bangun. just like last nite. she didnt sleep well. Allah is great, he gave you a little baby who can change you into another person your parents wanted to change you to long time ago but they failed. Mak selalu cakap aku ni kalau dah tido bom meletup pun tak sedar. It was true. Jam kat umah tu kalau bunyi bergegar satu rumah, tapi tetap tak sedar.. but now, Arissa rengek "ek".. sikit je aku dah bangun. What a Miracle.. really..

Life as a mother is chaotic but nontheless fun and emotional. I realized that i'm actually not that ambitious. Only if i dont have that much of hutang, mesti dah lama aku resign, dok umah jaga anak. Atleast for her 1st 3 years.... damn those gold cards.. sampai tua bayar tak habis2..
hari ni kelam kabut like mad. she didnt sleep well last nite, pagi ni dia tak bangun awal as usual. kejutkan dia dah pukul 8.00, macam biasa Arissa kalau dah menyusu lama gila.. she's taking her own sweet time... itu yang terkejar-kejar. but the main reason wud be that today my hubby and i went out separately. nora carrying arissa down and i'm supposed to brought her handbag with me but later found out it was nowhere in the car. we only realized masa dah sampai umah mama. damn it!! dah satu hal kena patah balik and poor nora.. she had to climb to 5th flr again to collect the bag. Jalan Jelatek tu jammed bagai nak gila. it was already 8.40 when i drop her at setiawangsa train st. i clock in at 9.17. I hate it.. not that i had to clock in late, tapi sebab aku kena parking jauh. Hujan pulak tu... hello.. i'm wearing my new sandals Ok!